I took this photograph of a farm lane on a memorable morning, October 15, 2014. The fall colors had peaked and dense fog had created a magically soft dreamscape. It was a perfect morning for photography and I stayed out, driving rural roads northwest of Concord and taking pictures until the sun finally began to burn through.
This is one of about two dozen images I saved from that morning, and this one remains my favorite. It’s also one of the few images which suggests a title. For me, it’s what retirement looks like. The “golden years” stretch out immediately in front of us with hopeful prospects, but like the lane in the picture, it dissolves into the mists of an uncertain future.
I’m seven years further down that lane since making that image, and it’s my birthday—my seventy-fifth birthday. On this day I can look back on three-quarters of a century.
In A Prayer of Moses, The Man of God, Moses wrote: “The years of our lives are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty, yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone and we fly away” (Psalm 90:10).
I’m halfway between Moses' average span “by reason of strength.” I did my usual fifty push-ups this morning. I don’t run but I walk vigorously almost every day. By God’s mercy I have enjoyed better health than either my father or my grandfather.
At the same time I am aware of the toll the years have taken. I’m missing body parts, and have artificial eye lenses after cataract surgery. I’ve got bridges and implants to replace missing teeth. I wear tri-focals and hearing aids. My strength is there, but my stamina is reduced. I sense some of the diminishing of mental sharpness that leads regularly to what we euphemistically call “senior moments.” And every day I take a handful of pills to manage various ailments. Truly “…their span is but toil and trouble."
"So," Moses adds, "teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”
A goodly part of that wisdom is learning to rely increasingly on the infinite mercies and grace of God. Aging has given me a lingering opportunity to repent of old sins, brushed aside in their moment but remembered; perhaps brought to mind by God’s Holy Spirit. Repentance and confession have become somewhat habitual in these years. I have a deeper appreciation for the cross of Jesus Christ, who not only rescued me from past failures but has continued in steadfast love and faithfulness toward me throughout my awkward journey of faith. As the contemporary hymn confesses, "Our sins they are many, his mercy is more!"
Amen.
Psalm 71 is a Psalm for old age. It’s composer is anonymous but I have identified with him for over thirty years. He writes:
“My mouth is filled with your praise, and with your glory all the day. Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent” (Psalm 71:8-9 ESV).
Again, Amen!
“…I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord GOD I will come; I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone.
O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.
Your righteousness, O God, reaches the high heavens. You who have done great things, O God, who is like you? You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again” (Psalm 71:14-20 ESV).
God called me to himself when still a youth (of nineteen). He has taught me and given me the privilege of “proclaiming his wondrous deeds” in three full time ministries and two interim ministries. I still seek opportunities to “proclaim his might to another generation.”
The Psalmist also speaks of that living hope believers share: “…from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.”
I have buried a granddaughter, both of my parents and a wife. I know something of “many troubles and calamities.” Hope is precious. Turning seventy-five is a good time to stoke the fires of hope, to keep them burning brightly.
God has been good to me. I have two fine sons who excel in their careers and personal lives, and who walk with God. They have both married remarkable women who also follow Jesus. I have five incredible grandchildren whom I love more than life itself.
And God has given me Susie, “the wife of my old age,” as I teasingly remind her. I am so fortunate to love again and to be loved by such a lovely and godly woman.
God has indeed been good to me.
King David wrote: “In your book were written, every one of them, all the days that were formed for me when as yet there was none of them” (Psalm 139:16).
Only God knows the expiration date on my birth certificate. On this day it is enough to celebrate his goodness to me over my past threescore and fifteen. It’s a good day.
